I started this blog back on May 23rd 2006 to record my exploits as I traveled around the world for 12 months and now some 370 days and 21,423 hits later it’s time to put this puppy to sleep.

As things turned out I only managed to travel for 9 months of the 12, but they were 9 damn fine months at that.

Highlights of my trip were people rather than places. An ugly place can always be made better with good people.

Fortunately, beautiful places and beautiful people tend to collide now and again – Nepal, Lithuania, Australia – I will be going back!!!

Things that I don’t like about traveling -

1. Becoming friends with people who you are never likely to see again in your life (the not seeming them again bit – not the making friends bit)
2. Having the shits with a hallucinating fever for 18 hours on a train in India.
3. Not having the energy to be sociable everyday.
4. Missing my family and friends
5. Taxi drivers.
6. Nepalese Visas.

The lessons I have learned -

1. Live in the now – appreciate what you’ve got.
2. You get the same mixed bag of people pretty much everywhere you go – we’re not all that different.
3. Everything in life is perception.
4. A 60p bottle of wine can taste better than you think.
5. A cocktail of salt and chlorine does not make for a pleasant swimming pool experience.
6. 12 months isn’t a long time.
7. I love my bouff more than I ever though possible.

I hope people have enjoyed reading my ramblings. I also extend my heartfelt thanks to Rory for being my partner in crime and making this blog more entertaining than it ever would have been if I’d done it alone.

The future? Well, I’m sure I’ll be traveling again sometime soon and if I do I’m sure I’ll brush the digital cobwebs off Too Many Ribs To Kiss Kojak.

Take it easy everyone and remember not to buy Nestle!

Whoever can find the the best Country & Western or Blues song title wins a prize.

 A few starters for 10 -

“Baby when you leave me walk out backwards so I think you’re comin’ in”

“Most things haven’t worked out”

“How can I miss you if you don’t go away”

“If you can’t live without me how come you ain’t dead”

I think it was my good mate Joe Clarke who introduced me to the joys of Bison Grass Vodka (Zubrowka) back in 2003. It’s basically Polish vodka which has been flavoured by a piece of “Bison Grass”. It tastes very nice mixed with apple juice over crushed ice.

I visited the Bialoweiza area where the vodka is produced and where the last European bison roam free in the wild back at the start of my RTW trip in June 2006.

So, what’s all this pontificating about? Well, I just found the Zubrowka website and thought it was cool - http://www.bisonbrandvodka.net/

Johan Vaaler, a Norwegian inventor with a degree in electronics, science and mathematics, invented the paperclip in 1899. He received a patent for his design from Germany in 1899, since Norway had no patent laws at that time. Johan Vaaler was an employee at a local invention office when he invented the paperclip.

Hi all. I came across this article. Found it interesting.

http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2005/10aug_crackling.htm

I’m going to hi-light a few things.

 Crackling Planets

Astronauts on the Moon and Mars are going to have to cope with an uncommon amount of static electricity. (Going? We’ve been haven’t we?)

August 10, 2005: Have you ever walked across a wool carpet in leather-soled shoes on a dry winter day, and then reached out toward a doorknob? ZAP! A stinging spark leaps between your fingers and the metal knob.

That’s static discharge–lightning writ small.

Static discharge is merely annoying to anyone on Earth living where winters have exceptionally low humidity. But to astronauts on the Moon or on Mars, static discharge could be real trouble.(Could? I thought people have been on the moon)

Right: Beware the door knob. [More]

“On Mars, we think the soil is so dry and insulating that if an astronaut were out walking, once he or she returned to the habitat and reached out to open the airlock, a little lightning bolt might zap critical electronics,” explains Geoffrey A. Landis, a physicist with the Photovoltaics and Space Environmental Effects Branch at NASA Glenn Research Center in Cleveland, Ohio.

This phenomenon is called triboelectric charging.

The prefix “tribo” (pronounced TRY-bo) means “rubbing.” When certain pairs of unlike materials, such as wool and hard shoe-sole leather, rub together, one material gives up some of its electrons to the other material. The separation of charge can create a strong electric field.

Here on Earth, the air around us and the clothes we wear usually have enough humidity to be decent electrical conductors, so any charges separated by walking or rubbing have a ready path to ground. Electrons bleed off into the ground instead of accumulating on your body.

But when air and materials are extraordinarily dry, such as on a dry winter’s day, they are excellent insulators, so there is no ready pathway to ground. Your body can accumulate negative charges, possibly up to an amazing 20 thousand volts. If you touch a conductor, such as a metal doorknob, then–ZAP!–all the accumulated electrons discharge at once.

On the Moon and on Mars, conditions are ideal for triboelectric charging. The soil is drier than desert sand on Earth. That makes it an excellent electrical insulator. Moreover, the soil and most materials used in spacesuits and spacecraft (e.g., aluminized mylar, neoprene-coated nylon, Dacron, urethane-coated nylon, tricot, and stainless steel) are completely unlike each other. When astronauts walk or rovers roll across the ground, their boots or wheels gather electrons as they rub through the gravel and dust. Because the soil is insulating, providing no path to ground, a space suit or rover can build up tremendous triboelectric charge, whose magnitude is yet unknown. (Again. I thought we’ve been on the moon. And we don’t know what the charge is?) And when the astronaut or vehicle gets back to base and touches metal–ZAP! The lights in the base may go out, or worse.

Physicist Joseph Kolecki and colleagues at NASA Glenn first noticed this problem in the late 1990s before Mars Pathfinder was launched (Thirty years since we walked on the moon?). “When we ran a prototype wheel of the Sojourner rover over simulated Martian dust in a simulated Martian atmosphere, we found it charged up to hundreds of volts,” he recalls.

That discovery so concerned the scientists that they modified Pathfinder’s rover design, adding needles half an inch long, made of ultrathin (0.0001-inch diameter) tungsten wire sharpened to a point, at the base of antennas. The needles would allow any electric charge that built up on the rover to bleed off into the thin Martian atmosphere, “like a miniature lightning rod operating in reverse,” explains Carlos Calle, lead scientist at NASA’s Electrostatics and Surface Physics Laboratory at Kennedy Space Center, Florida. Similar protective needles were also installed on the Spirit and Opportunity rovers.

Right: Electrostatic discharge points at the base of Sojourner’s antenna. [More]

On the Moon, “Apollo astronauts never reported being zapped by electrostatic discharges,” notes Calle. “However, future lunar missions using large excavation equipment to move lots of dry dirt and dust could produce electrostatic fields. Because there’s no atmosphere on the Moon, the fields could grow quite strong. Eventually, discharges could occur in vacuum.”(Problem solved then. Use the same materials as were used on the first (and subsequent) moon landings)

“On Mars,” he continues, “discharges can happen at no more than a few hundred volts. It’s likely that these will take the form of coronal glows rather than lightning bolts. As such, they may not be life threatening for the astronauts, but they could be harmful to electronic equipment.”

So what’s the solution to this problem?

Here on Earth, it’s simple: we minimize static discharge by grounding electrical systems. Grounding them means literally connecting them to Earth–pounding copper rods deep into the ground. Ground rods work well in most places on Earth because several feet deep the soil is damp, and is thus a good conductor. The Earth itself provides a “sea of electrons,” which neutralizes everything connected to it, explains Calle.

There’s no moisture, though, in the soil of the Moon or Mars. Even the ice believed to permeate Martian soil wouldn’t help, as “frozen water is not a terribly good conductor,” says Landis. So ground rods would be ineffective in establishing a neutral “common ground” for a lunar or Martian colony.

On Mars, the best ground might be, ironically, the air. A tiny radioactive source “such as that used in smoke detectors,” could be attached to each spacesuit and to the habitat, suggests Landis. Low-energy alpha particles would fly off into the rarefied atmosphere, hitting molecules and ionizing them (removing electrons). Thus, the atmosphere right around the habitat or astronaut would become conductive, neutralizing any excess charge.

Right: Note the marsdust clinging to Sojourner’s wheels. This is indirect evidence of electrostatic charging. [More]

Achieving a common ground on the Moon would be trickier, where there’s not even a rarefied atmosphere to help bleed off the charge (Would? Have we been there or not. If we have then why the speculation?). Instead, a common ground might be provided by burying a huge sheet of foil or mesh of fine wires, possibly made of aluminum (which is highly conductive and could be extracted from lunar soil), underneath the entire work area. Then all the habitat’s walls and apparatus would be electrically connected to the aluminum.

Research is still preliminary. So ideas differ amongst the physicists who are seeking, well, some common ground (Forgive me for being sceptical. But the ‘reaserch is preliminary’? 40 years after Appolo, Neil armstrong etc..)

All the other ‘moon landings were faked stuff pales in comparison to this. NASA have admited that either; the moon landings took place (although the author of this article is confused) and we used materials for which this phenomenon does not occur (god, they were lucky! “Physicist Joseph Kolecki and colleagues at NASA Glenn first noticed this problem in the late 1990s before Mars Pathfinder was launched ” )

Or.. Well?

I’m not a big fan of these “Reality” type TV shows but must admit to having a soft spot for “The Apprentice” (BBC1, Wednesday at 9:00pm).

“Tre” is currently my favourite nugget. He says “fuck” every second word, is offended by nudity and doesn’t believe in evolution

“She fucking may have fucking came from a fucking fish fucker but I’m fucking sure I fucking didn’t fucking fucker”.

What a complex character….

Just had a quick whizz on Google to find out what’s happened to past contestants. Last years finalist Ruth “Grrrrr” Badger has started her own business consultancy. According to her online profile:

“Ruth has very fond memories of The Apprentice which has left her with some life-long friends. We wish Michelle well. But what’s important for you, our new friends and customers, is to know that what you saw on The Apprentice is 30 per cent of what Ruth is capable of.”

I wonder how she came up with the “30%” figure? Who knows what she or anyone else is capable of? Perhaps she could have bumped this up to 80% during the show if she had smeared her own warm shit into Alan Sugars beard while dancing naked with a dyed pink Yorkshire terrier stuck up her arse.

Michelle Malkin doesn’t seem to be aware of this old English proverb.

Check out the “Students Against War” Article HERE

Nearly pub time. I’m off to warm up my elbow. 

So here you have my list in no particular order -

10. BlackAdder – Undoubtedly the best British sitcom ever:

Captain Darling: “I’m as British as Queen Victoria!”
Blackadder: “So your father’s German, you’re half German and you married a German?”

9. Deadwood - It’s stars Lovejoy and it’s set in the Wild West but don’t let that put you off.

Al Swearenger: “Get a fucking haircut. Looks like your mother fucked a monkey.”

8. Freaks and Geeks - A little gem of a show that was axed by some corporate TV Exec bastard after just one season.

7. The Sopranos – Not as good as it once was but still wipes the floor with most of the crap on TV today.

Bobby Baccalieri: “To the victor belongs the spoils.”
Tony Soprano: “Why don’t you get the fuck out of here before I shove your quotation book up your fat fucking ass.”

6. The Wire - It’s a cop show largely about surveillance with a bunch of cop characters that on the whole aren’t too original. Sounds crap but it ain’t.

5. Quantum Leap – Sam and Al jump around in time. Perhaps my favourite show when I was a kid.

4. Red Dwarf – Low budget and geeky but still great.

 Lister: “Communicate in all known languages..including Welsh”

3. The Shield - Corrupt cops in Los Angeles having fun.

Vic Mackey: “Put your clothes on, get out of here, and change your taste in men.”

2. The Wonder Years - Spawned a great urban myth. Marylin Manson was allegedly Kevin’s mate Paul Pfieffer. Winnie was hot.

1. Columbo - Detective Columbo outwitted criminals by dressing like a paedophile/flasher.

Det. Columbo – “Just one more thing….”

The BBC is currently dedicating 95% of broadcast news coverage to the student shootings in West Virginia.

I’ve just been hooked to the TV for the past 3 hours. It’s like watching a very slow episode of 24 unfold. The expertly contrived tension is broken every hour or so by a smiley, Marks and Spencers clad bint harping on about “frosts in Wiltshire”.

The shooting is undoubtedly a sad event.

But Duncan, so are the multitude of deaths occurring in Darfur and Iraq everyday, I don’t see you transfixed to the TV to watch those stories?

Well, the news doesn’t put on as good a show. Plus, those people look a bit different from me, speak a language I don’t understand and probably haven’t been out on a student piss up recently.

Shucks, well that’s OK then. You just feel more sympathy for those you perceive as “your own”.

Hey, I don’t like what your implying chump! I buy the Guardian I’ll have you know and I’m a member of Amnesty International. I also thought “serves you right” when one  local student mother (student not harmed) stated she was still “pro gun” because ” I always hev bin, uh-huh”.

I stand corrected. You’re obviously a candidate for “Humanitarian of the Year”.

Yeah, yeah whatever. I bet you’re terrorist. I’m off to watch FOX News.

I sense the Apocalypse is upon us!! 

Story HERE.

Give it a couple of more hours before people start blaming this on avian flu, Jade Goody and the CIA.

I wonder if they’re the new luminous ones?