“The Resort” (Dunc)

Crappy internet connection so only a short post. 

When the volunteers here want a nice relaxing break they often head to ”The Resort” for a night of pampering. It’s a small hotel complex with restaurant on the banks of  a river in the middle of the Thai countryside. Very beautiful and relaxing.

On Thursday evening me, Max, Chris, Camille and Tiffany headed to “The Resort” for a most pleasant evening. The cab arrived bang on time at 6pm sharp. When I say cab I should really say pick-up truck. We all jumped in the back and braved an insect splattering for the 20 minute journey:

Click HERE for a short (and pretty dark) video of the trip in. (Turn the sound up).

The meal was pretty good. I had some sort of chicken kebab with satay sauce and a squid and tiger prawn salad with nuts. The salad was friggin’ hot a spicy. My dirty balloon knot certainly knew about it at the following morning’s board meeting I can tell you.

Here’s a photo of us pre-meal and cocktails:

After the meal we headed off to a bridge and looked at the stars. I farted – on the bridge.

And HERE is a video of the trip back in our cab. Again needs sound or perhaps even deleting.

For more photos of the night please click HERE

Off to Hua Hin tomorrow for more partying with the volunteers, ho’s and ladyboys. Nice. 

Hangover in Hua Hin (Dunc)

Currently in Hua Hin enjoying my day off. A pretty big group of us travelled here last night for some good old fashioned drinking. The drinking took place mainly on the beach at a chilled out bar with deck chairs strewn around in the sand. My tipple of choice was Tiger beer followed by numerous mint mohijto cocktails. The stars were out. I noticed the constellation Orion is the wrong way up here in Thailand. Bloody foriegners.

Hua Hin kinda reminds me of Benidorm. Lots of elderly ex-pats walking around with tanned leather skin. Lots of “Irish” bars and unfortunately a “Celtic FC” bar which I had the mispleasure of visiting:

The observant among you may have spotted the Chelsea flag on the wall. Bit of a faux paux made by the management there me thinks.

There are a few differences between Benidorm and Hua Hin. Primarily the lady boys, prostitutes and lack of Spaniards. The prostitutes sit at tables outside bars  and heckle you as you walk past. They’re at it 24/7. I was heckled at 10:00am this morning. “Hey Sunglasses, come sit by me”.

Went to look around the big mall here. Bought a football and some new trainers to replace my hiking boots that were half-inched in Nepal. Did a spot of bowling with Max (A Canadian volunteer) and Chris (A Dutch volunteer). Amazingly, I scored my personal best of 179. I’m “Dirty Ballon Knot” on the scorecard below:

Went for sushi and I’m now waiting to get the taxi home.

Some other bits of news from the past week.

Went to the “Hilton Hotel” club with sandals on. A crazy band was playing.

Drew a very accurate map of the USA in the volunteer house to educate the American’s:

Went to the local market and bought popcorn.

Was most surprised when I ran into Mr. Miagi and his Gremlin breeding program. Better not get this little critter wet or feed it after midnight (but in which timezone?):

And finally, I spotted Jose doing some advertising moonlighting in a magazine here:

 For a couple more recent photos please click HERE

Dunc “Rolf Harris” Laird (Dunc)

For the past week I’ve been volunteering at the Wildlife Friends of Thailand rescue centre near the seaside town of Cha ‘am. The work involves a lot of shoveling animal shit and feeding the ungrateful critters. Some of them are cute and cuddly and some of them will have your arm off as soon as look at you – mainly the gibbons and macaques. My bouff seems to be drawing a lot of attention from the monkeys – they all want a handful. Obviously jealous.

The cutest monkeys are the langurs. If you stick your head against the cage they’ll groom your hair for lice and bugs. Would have been a very useful addition to some of the orphanages in Nepal. They also like holding hands as do some of the friendlier gibbons. There’s also a disabled tiger (called Miaow)  here which is pretty cool. It’s nervous system was severly damaged because it was fed mainly crisps and sweets growing up. Even in it’s beat up state it’s still beautiful and a lot bigger than I expected a tiger to be:

Although I’ve been having fun at the centre a number of things are pissing me off. Some of the longer term volunteers remind me of call centre middle management and team leaders I’ve been unfortunate to work with in the past. They have a little whiff of power for the first time in their lives and really revel in dishing out “advice” and criticism for the pettiest of things. I’m close to snapping. I paid to be here. Show me some God damn respec’ bitches. I’m a race car in the red. I’m a mushroom cloud laying mother fuc….

 We’re also not allowed out the compound until 5pm and only have one day off a week. Only three volunteers are allowed off on any one day so it’s tough to get a good group part together. We’re also stuck in the back of beyond and it costs a fair bit in a taxi to get anywhere. Oh yeah, and the centre director is a complete and utter prick. He constantly likes to tell everyone how important he is and recounts his heroic (yawn!) stories of animal rescue every ten minutes or so. Arsehole.

Sorry for the moan but I’ve been having a bit of a tough week (relatively speaking of course). I’m a little bit travelled fatigued (I’ve been travelling for over 160 days now) and I’m missing family anf friends. Also, my perspective on a few things has changed after my experiences in Nepal. Why spend so much money on animals when it could be spent on helping kids? I think we get our priorities mixed up sometimes. Why can’t we all just get along.

Well, enough of that. Check out the photos below and at this LINK

Oh yeah. I’ve received my first ever bitchy comment from a stranger (Miere Buna)yesterday. It’s on the Bucharest post I wrote back in August. Here’s the LINK. The comment doesn’t really make sense, however, I am grossly offended at being mistaken for an American.

And another thing. For all of you who don’t own a Tom Waits album go out and buy one now – preferably ”Mule Variations”. The man is a friggin’ genius.

You scratch my back…

 

Nepal Tidy Up (Dunc)

Couple of things to finish off with Nepal before moving on to my second Thailand update.

Here are some photos from what was supposed to be my last night in Kathmandu but unfortunately, due to well documented VISA problems, wasn’t. How about this for a triple hang loose:

And this is a photo of a steak meal I had in Pokara after nearly dying kayaking. The apple and banana combo clearly breaks Pete Heyes’s rule of mixing savoury and sweet foods and I’m sure Mary Whitehouse wouldn’t approve of the copulating arrangement:

A truly classic local meal!

So the verdict on Nepal….best place I’ve been to so far. Had a fantastic time and met some fantastic people to boot. They only slight cloud was the VISA debacle but it years to come I’m sure I’ll look back on it and be pissed off.

Top 3 Weird things in Nepal

1. Dhal Bhat: Twice a day. 365 days a year. You’ve never lived until you’ve eaten dhal bhat. Go on. Do it. Just once. It’s what all the cool kids are in to. It will make you fell good inside. Get the pure stuff not cut with any other crap like peas or noodles though.

2. Israelis:They’ve got a bad reputation here. I really don’t like believing in national stereotyping, however,  from what I’ve observed it seems to be pretty much deserved. I’ve never met a nationality of people who whinge, moan and aggressively bitch as much as the Israeli’s do. Having said that I did meet one or two very nice people from Israel.

3. Bathing:The majority of the population do it outdoors with a cold tap. No need. Get some hot water. Even more pertinent when it gets down to freezing during winter. It’s even more crazy for women. They have to wear a full body garment (lugi) while bathing and wash themselves through it.

Bangkok – The first 4 hours (Dunc)

• The brand new airport is poo. An internet machine stole 100 dib-dobs (1 quid 40)  from my MASTERCARD and people hounded me to jump in a limo to Bangkok centre for 8oo dib-dobs. Grrrrr.  
• Taxi drivers here – like everywhere in the world – are James Blunts’. Pity the IRA didn’t blow up/kidnap/kneecap more of the buggers.
• Banglok smells, but not as badly as India.
• The street food is good. Tad Pai and spring rolls. Mmmm.
• The Thai beer – “Singha” – is tasty.
• Yet to spot a ladyboy. I’m looking under every skirt but to no avail.
• My hotel room smells.
• It’s hot and muggy.
• There are way too many friggin’ posh English students here for my liking.
• I’m still a bit pissed off about the VISA thing. I’m thinking Creegan should reimburse as he thinks 250 quid is nothing to worry about. I’m surprised at his words given his frugal nature.
• I’m missing my chums from Kathmandu already, especially my FT.

Off to my volunteer placement in Cha ‘am tomorrow.

Disaster Strikes!!!! (Dunc)

So, I turn up at Kathmandu airport on Sunday (5th Nov) with plenty of time to spare to catch my flight to Calcutta. I needed to be in Calcutta on 6th November to catch my flight to Bangkok as part of my Round the World ticket schedule. Everything was going to plan until while waiting in the check-in counter I glance at my Nepali tourist visa. Can anyone spot the significant problem?:

Arse. They wouldn’t let me board. The immigration office was closed. I mopped back to my hotel to headbutt a door.  

$110 for a flight from Kathmandu to Calcuta down the shitter.

The first thing I did was to e-mail/call my Round the World ticket travel agency to rearrange my flight from Calcutta to Bangkok which was due to leave the next day. I couldn’t get through. They didn’t reply to my e-mail.

On to Monday (6th Nov). I went to the Nepali Immigration office to renew my VISA. The sign on the door said “Prosecution for late VISA application - 50,000 rupees to 5 yrs in prison”. Ahem. Turns out that sign was lying. I only got fined $16 plus $30 for new VISA. Wasn’t an enjoyable wait in the queue though I can tell you.

$46 for VISA extension and fine down the shitter (TOTAL: $156)

Still no contact with my RTW travel agency. My flight leaving Calcutta was mere hours away. To compound the problem even more my Indian VISA was due to expire on the 10th November. Any flight rearranged by my RTW travel agency would need to be arranged to leave before then. I’d also have to somehow get to Calcutta from Kathmandu in time to catch the rearranged flight. Arse. Decided to go to a travel agency to book a flight direct from Kathmandu to Bangkok and forget about catching my RTW connection in Calcutta to Bangkok. Only one seat available on Royal Nepal Airlines leaving 13th November. I booked it. Unfortunately, it means I’ll miss the start of my volunteer stint in Thailand by a week.

$253 for Kathmandu to Bangkok flight down the shitter (TOTAL: $399)

On to today (7th Nov). Called into the travel agency in the morning to pick-up my ticket. They had somehow managed to arse something up. No ticket. I was told I now needed to buy a Thai Airlines ticket for the 8th or 9th November. Cost $329 minimum.

$76 additional fee for flight down the shitter (Total: $475)

So it’s now 15:20 and I’m in an internet cafe. I need to call into the travel agency at 16:00 to pick up my Thai Airlines ticket. Failing this another travel agency has told me there is a seat on a flight leaving on the 15th November but this is going to eat even further into my volunteer work in Thailand.

Please deposit all laughs, “Ha-Ha’s” and smart arsed remarks in the comments section.

Will update progress at 7pm Nepali time (Around 2pm UK).

UPDATE

Got a ticket to Bankok tomorrow with Thai Airlines. Price $332.

$3 additional fee for flight down the shitter (Total: $478)

TOTAL = $478

I don’t even want to know what that is in sterling. Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learned here. To be honest I’m not interested in learning it.

Please visit this blog again for further fun filled VISA disaster stories. I’m off for a drink.

Annapurna Base Camp Trek Pt3 (Dunc)

Day 7 – Annapurna Base Camp to Bamboo

Again woken up by Yubraj before dawn. Again it was well worth it for the mountain views. Annapurna 1 (8,091m):

Annapurna South (7,273m):

I also took another “fake”photo of myself but here’s a bonafide real one:

. 

At around 10:00am after breakfast of milk tea and Tibetan bread with honey we packed up and headed back down the mountain. Passed lots of porters on the way. Definitely not a fun job. It’s about time they opened a helipad and adjoining McDonald’s up here.

That reminds me. One fat American hired three porters to carry him up to ABC two weeks ago. He drank and smoke as they took turns to carry him on their back. Not really in the true spirit of trekking.

Made really good pace and reached our guesthouse at Bamboo in mid-afternoon. The owners had some interesting “pot” plants scattered around:

Unfortunately, no hairdryers around. Satisfied myself with lovely Daal Bhat a fantastic hot shower (first for 4 days) and hot chocolate with rum. Slept soundly.

 Day 8 – Bamboo to Jhanu Dada Hot Springs

Woke up feeling ill. The squits had struck big time. Hard going trekking today. 10,000 odd steps up and down and up and down really were tough:

Fortunately at the end of the day we pulled up at a thermal hot springs resort. It was a bit of a hike down to the thermal baths from the hotel but well worth the effort. Stone lined pools of steaming hot water were strung alongside a river bank:

After a hard weeks trekking sinking in to the hot water was just the best feeling in the world. Coincidentally a number of people I had met over the course of the trek turned up at the springs at the same time. Fun times in the pool:

Nepali dancing at night but I missed it because I went to bed early ill.

Day 9 – Jhanu Dada Hot Springs to Naya Pul to Pokara

The last day of the trek!! Going up to ABC was definitely better than coming down. Felt pretty ropey all they way back. It took us a long 7 hours to reach Naya Pul. Didn’t take many pictures. Only this one of rice paddies of any note:

So, the ABC trek ended in a whimper really. Caught a taxi back to Pokara and that was that. I thoroughly recomend trekking in the Himalayas for anyone that travels to Nepal.

For more pictures of Part 3 of my trek please click HERE.

Annapurna Base Camp Trek Pt2 (Dunc)

Day 4 - Tadapani to Chhomrong

Yubraj woke me up at 6:00am. I would call him an arsehole but he did it for good reason. I was treated to a spectacular sunrise and mountain views:

The day soon got even better. Five minutes after setting off we literally run into a troop of langurs pissing about in the trees:

After travelling through the jungle we went up and down the sides of a large river valley. Climbed loads of steps. We walked through thick clumps of beautiful smelling Camoline flowers. Yubraj got sucked at by a leech. Reached our guesthouse in Chhomrong at noon. Met some Israelis (Raki and Atna) and a nice French lady (Patti) at the lodge.

It turns out the Israelis have got a really bad reputation for being arseholes on the trekking circuit and amongst guides. Lodges regularly turn them away even if they have space. I was told they often won’t pay the bill or demand free stuff and would get drunk, aggressive and violent. Many of the Israeli travellers are fresh out from national service which may explain this. In defence of the Levantine travellers all the Israelis I met were pretty nice, even those right out of the army.

Day 5 – Chhomrong to Deurali

Had a chat to Yubraj in the mornig and told him I wanted to shorten the trek because I wanted to do more walking during the day. I was getting kinda bored sitting around the lodges all afternoon and evening.

We had to leave early (7:00am) to catch up with the German girls who had went ahead to the next village the day before. We also met up with a Chinese girl we had met earlier on the trek – Rebecca. We really hiked hard and reached Deurali in late afternoon. The path got a bit tricky in places (below) with some crazy bridges thrown in:

Fortunately we were helped by the odd useful sign.

I felt sorry for the porters we kept passing carrying 50 odd kilos of stuff in crappy baskets:

Had a good time in the lodge at night. Found a guitar. Played some Jose Gonsalez and was taught how to play Hotel California by the owner:

Day 6 – Deurali to Annapurna Base Camp

Had a pretty shitty nights sleep. Lots of weird dreams. Yubraj told me it was common due to the altitude we slept at. Had a nice cup of milk Chiyaa and ate some Tibetan bread and felt fine. Off we headed to ABC!

Going was pretty hard all the way up. We approached along a narrow corridor like mountain valley. Shadows shrouded both sides in the early morning but beautiful mountains shone brilliant white in the distance:

Every now and then the valley wall would split to give us a glimpse of other nearby mountains:

After 2 hours trekking we reached Machhapuchhare Base Camp (MBC). A couple more hours trekking we finally reached our goal – Annapurna Base Camp at 1 o’clock in the afternoon. Sweet:

The altitude is pretty thin at ABC given it’s at 4130m above sea level. It really is tough to breath properly. The last few hundred metres up to ABC I really felt my lungs straining.

Felt really good to make it. Celebrated in the lodge at night by drinking rum and hot chocolate with a raft guide from Colorado, Rebecca the Chinese girl, the Israelis and the German girls.

Went to bed and shivered the whole night. Friggin’ freezing cold. It was 0 degrees celcius in my room and my spring/summer sleeping bag wasn’t up to the job. The mad dreams didn’t help matters. Still, I was halfway up a friggin’ mountain in the Himalayas!

For more photos from Part 2 of my trek please click HERE.

Annapurna Base Camp Trek Pt1 (Dunc)

Right, been putting it off for long enough. Time to post about my recent trek to the Annapurna Base Camp. Here goes.

Click HERE to see a map of the area I trekked.

DAY 1 – Naya Pul to Deorali

My trekking guide (Yubraj)  picked me up in a taxi from my hotel in Pokara (The Peace Eye) at 6:30. We drove for a couple of hours to our start point at Naya Pul. I was told only to bring a daysack with a change of clothes and a sleeping bag. Only 10 kilos to hike up the mountain – the less gear the better since we didn’t have a porter. We intended not to camp but stay in the many guesthouses along the way.

Within 5 minutes of setting off from the start point in Naya Pul we hit the Maosist tourist check point. I had to hand over 1000 rupees to the young scallywags. They were pretty friendly chaps. Perhaps less so if we didn’t cough up the dough. Tourist taxes are one of the main funding streams to support their “terrrrrrorist” activities in Nepal. Specifically, it helps to pay the wages of the 30,000 strong Maoist army.

On the subject of young scallywags we soon bumped into a couple of young German girls – Sophia and Alex. They were also heading to the ABC but with no guide. In fact they were heading in the wrong direction until Yubraj shouted at them. They ended up tagging along for the day and as it turned out the whole trek.

The first day was pretty hard going since it was pretty hot and sunny. There were lots of stone steps up and down. The landscape was beautiful. We walked through lush green valleys filled with paddy fields and alongside tuorqoise blue rivers:

Just after lunch Yubraj pointed out a landslide which had killed over 30 people, many of them children, just a couple of months ago. It happened during a rainstorm at midnight:

Reached our guesthouse at Ulleri late in the afternoon. Met some nice Americans at dinner and headed off to bed.

DAY 2 - Deorali to Ghorapani

Set off form the lodge at 8:00a.m. The German girls “officially” joined my trek in the morning. They are also volunteers at an orphanage in Kathmandu  so one good deed deserves another in my book.

The main thing to note on Day 2 was the amount of animal traffic on the route. There were a flock of mountain sheep, an angry buffalo, a pissed off calf and a tarmac chomping mule.

Arrived at Ghorapani at noon and finished for the day. I was urprised that we did so little walking.  Ended up mooking around the place buying presents and whooping a kids ass at basketball:

DAY 3 – Ghorapani to Poon Hill to Tadapani

Up before dawn to climb the 3000 odd metre mass known as Poon Hill. The view from the top is spectacular. You can see a panoramic view of much of the Annapurna mountain range. That’s if the weather is nice. It wasn’t. It was cloudy:

Fortunately after 30 minutes or so as sunrise approached the clouds cleared given the 300 odd people at the top of Poon Hill a glimpse of the 6441m Hiunchuli mountain:

As we headed down the mountain we were fortunate to glimpse of Machhapuchhare (Fishtail) Mountain. A beast at 6997m.

THIS photo suggests that I wasn’t really on Poon Hill but was standing in front of a blue screen somewhere. Hopefully this photo will nip that conspiracy theory in the bud:

Back down from Poon Hill we headed off along the trail into a cloud forest and then into a beautiful river gorge and then into a jungle valley. Yubraj pointed out a plant from which a skin cancer drug is extracted. Unfortunately a large US pharmaceutical company has bought the patent and it is now grown in the US somewhere. Unfortunate because it deprives Nepal of much needed income. Arseholes.

Happier news round the next corner. We got to see some monkeys! Langurs to be specific:

Also, I think I’ve solved the Yeti myth. Take a look at this bad photo of an out of focus Langur. Look familiar to other photos of Yeti?:

Ended a long but fantastic day of  trekking at Tadapani totally knackered.  Met a nice American couple. Talked about transport key performance indicators. Definitely didn’t think I’d be doing that in the Himalayas.

For more pictures of Part 1 of my trek please click HERE.